Go! Even if You Must Go Alone!

Hello fam! It's been a nice minute since I blogged. Trust me I have missed my blog family! Aside from keeping up with the demands of my own personal schedule like school and work, I've been taking some time to reflect on some things and do some self-evaluating. I definitely believe that sometimes silence and reflection can be the most life-changing, revolutionary practice of a person's life. During my time "away", I decided to take a step back from things, not just my blog, but specific things in my life that needed some attention. I needed to see specifically what significance they represented to me as an individual and my life's purpose. I've blogged before about my struggle with approval addiction and how I was caught up in the performance trap. Although God revealed these things to me, I still discovered that I was doing things that pacified that "need for acceptance" and in pure ignorance I really thought I was doing the right thing. The more I gave in to those things, the more they controlled me and the more internal conflict I experienced. I started to feel anxiety about certain things in my life, that honestly should have brought the most joy and substance. I discovered that as I went about my same old routine of doing things and trying to fit-in and "be a part", I literally lost sight of why I was doing those things in the first place. It was no longer about a cause bigger than myself. It was more of a selfish need to fit in. And the people I was trying to fit in with didn't care two cents about me or my life's purpose. Even worst, over time I developed this prideful, self-righteous, judgmental perspective of others who didn't necessarily "fit-in" and didn't have the least bit desire to "be a part."


Now let me say this....one thing I have discovered during this time, is that if God wants a person to see something, He is the only one who can MAKE them see it. He definitely has a way of  "opening our eyes" where human effort can not. The sad thing is that while I was pacifying my "need for acceptance", I didn't even realize how much farther I was going away from the true freedom I so desperately sought.  I had to ask myself some difficult questions and I had to examine and deal with why I was doing the things I was doing. I've had to examine some friendships. I've had to examine my heart and my perspective on certain things. I've had to take a deep look into myself and find out the root of "why"? I know I'm being a little vague, intentionally, but try to follow me. 


There are going to be times that God requires specific things from us as individuals and people won't understand it, even family and friends. However, those times require an unwavering trust in God. We must still be able to move in the direction He wants for us, whether people understand or not. I've been blessed to have a few people in my life who know me well enough to know my character. So they don't judge or criticize me when they don't fully understand. They simply expect the best, just as genuine love would do (I Corinthians 13). I've also experienced the flip side of that sentiment where people who "love" me have backed away without question or hesitance because they didn't understand me or my course of action, nor did they really know my character. I have had to take the time to accept that just because everyone doesn't understand me, it doesn't give me the right to abandon what God is doing. It doesn't mean that I should lend myself to fear of rejection or disapproval, just so people will "understand" me. Why not? Because at the end of the day, in everything that I do, I am accountable to one person- God. 


So what am I saying? What's the point? My point is, don't allow fear to hinder you from being different, because different may be where God is leading you. God requires us to be holy, as He is holy. Holy does not equate to the number or lack of sin in someone's life (although it is an indicator). Holy literally means to be set apart. So our lives must be set apart solely for God's use. Take for instance the Sabbath day. The Bible tells us in Exodus 35:2 that six days were for work, but the seventh day, the Sabbath day was holy, meaning it is set apart for God. Think about when Moses was instructed to remove his shoes from his feet in Exodus 3:5 because he was standing on holy ground. It means that the ground was set apart for God. A day nor space on a ground has the characteristic nor ability to sin or be sinful. The reference to holiness in these examples literally means "to be set apart". You follow me?


Being set apart will sometimes mean being separated from things that seem harmless. I've also discovered through this reflection process that everything that seems "good" is not necessarily for you. Doesn't mean it's not for someone else either, but it may not be the direction God is asking you to take. If you don't get anything else from this post, just know that God has a specific plan for your life. He knows the path He wants us to take. We may think we know how things will unfold and actually people may think they are qualified to tell you the best route to take. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying to discredit genuine wisdom and experience from others. But guess what....only God knows the plan AND the path He has for our lives. And when we embody holiness, when we are "set apart" solely for God's use and purpose, we can have complete confidence in knowing that His plan is perfect. We can accept those perfecting moments when God allows certain trials in our lives to build character. We can rejoice in knowing that He is preparing us for His purpose and regardless of who understands, He will get the glory!


Now I'll be honest, sometimes it feels a little lonely. Our human nature thirsts for identification through understanding. But know that we are NEVER alone. God promised He would NEVER leave us nor forsake us. I have personal experience in knowing that God's pursuit of us is so relentless. He's always revealing His truth to us, and sometimes in the most unsuspecting methods. His ways or not our ways. We don't know it all! I surely don't. And guess what, we are NOT going to get it right ALL THE TIME. Period! We are imperfect beings. But I am so grateful for God's grace in knowing that even when I mess up, His plan is still PERFECT!!! When you are tempted to cave in to fear and uncertainty, know that God's plan is perfect! Know that He is ALWAYS there. Know that if nobody else does, HE understands. 


My prayer for everyone is that we are never afraid to take the path that God has laid before us whether we are alone or not. My prayer is that we would all learn how to trust God, independently. What I mean by that is trusting God without having to have someone co-sign or "amen" our decisions. My prayer is that we grow up and mature enough to be "set apart" for God's sole purpose and use. My prayer is that we literally learn to take God at His word. He will NEVER leave us, nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He knows the plans He has for us, plans for peace and not of evil, to give us hope in our final outcome (Jeremiah 29:11).


Be Blessed!


-Queen