Lately, I've noticed that an "in a relationship", "engaged" epidemic has broken out (lol!) Almost all, not all, but almost all of my female friends have very recently gotten married, engaged, or in a relationship. The fleshly part of me is like, "Lord, what is wrong with me?" "Why hasn't my Boaz found me yet?" "What am I doing wrong?". But then my Father's spirit (the Holy Spirit) prompts me to cast down those negative feelings and emotions and trust that He has a plan for me, a perfect plan already plotted out (I believe that this plan includes my mate because God already knows the desires of my heart..He put them there).
Character development always involves a choice and temptation provides the opportunity right? Well, this year I have purposed to become a better me and that will not happen unless I purpose to change the way I think. So adjusting my perspective is going to require some real flesh crucifixion and some real spirit development....which means, I am going to have to think outside of my normal comfort zone and replace my old way of thinking with God's way of thinking (trust me this doesn't happen overnight...it takes some concentrated effort and practice). So I start dealing with myself in trying to figure out why my first reaction is "What is wrong with me?" ...Does God's word say that if you're single, something is wrong with you? or that if you aren't in a relationship, engaged, or married, that something must be wrong with you? Not at all...at least I haven't found that in the word (correct me if I'm wrong). I have actually found that there are benefits to being single....(spending more time with God, focusing on pleasing him without having to worry about a spouse or kids, or familial responsibilites, etc...)
I can tell that some of you are like, "Please, I'd rather be married!" Lol! But this is where adjusting your perspective comes in...it really takes some discipline to look at things the way God sees them. If you are currently single, there's a reason why you are single at this moment and you need to find out from your maker(God), what it is He needs you to do while you're single. If you're single and believing God for a mate, that's fine, but if He hasn't connected you with your mate yet, your focus should still be on completing your assignment and not on "God, what's taking you so long?" What you focus on expands right? so, if you're constantly focusing on the fact that your mate hasn't come yet, you'll continue to grow impatient, bitter, lonely and a whole bunch of other negative emotions that will corrupt your heart and then God will have to wait on you to get rid of all of that garbage before He provides you with a mate. Of course, you will be tempted to get impatient and wonder "Why hasn't he/she come yet?" but take that temptation as the opportunity to trust that God has a plan already mapped out and as you're doing what you are supposed to be doing, God will connect you and your mate, while you're on that path, at the best time, His timing.
I have family members who ask me all the time (literally, everytime I go to New Orleans to visit), "Girl, you aint married yet?!" and it puts a bitter taste in my mouth, because they unintentionally reinforce that "something must be wrong with me" mindset. I know and they know that I desire to be married and have a family, but it's not going to happen on their time or mine. It's going to happen when God is ready and just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean there's a thing wrong with me. I am a treasure beyond measure! and I believe that the person God has for me will recognize that I'm a treasure. So God is not going to send me just no anybody. This dude is going to have to be on point because my Father made me so special that it's going to take a special kind of guy to handle me!
Then there are those who come to me with a disposition of pity..."Awww, you're still single huh?" patting me on my back like I'm sick or something. Lol! I always just shake my head and laugh because singleness is not a disease!!!! It's a blessing that many people don't realize. But if you are operating out of your flesh and you haven't aligned your perspective with God's, you will feed into singleness being disease-like. I went to a woman's fellowship last month sometime and a young lady made this statement that is forever engrafted in my brain. She said, "Adam was so busy doing what God told him to do (naming the animals), that God had to put him to sleep to provide him with a helpmeet." That means that Adam was so focused on pleasing God and fulfilling His assignment that God had to literally stop him, put him to sleep and say "You need a Helpmeet." Isn't that amazing?
This past weekend at a youth conference/event, Min. Montrell Thompson illustrated how God provides exactly what you need WHEN YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH. Let's say that me and another individual are walking down the path God laid before us...meaning, I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and the other person is doing what they're supposed to be doing. The other person gets married, (or blessed in some other manner) and I start looking at them like, "Man, I want to be married." This is the first step in character development. I can either take that opportunity to rejoice with that person and continue down the path God has for me, knowing that He has already provided what I need on MY path, or I can take that opportunity to get distracted, lose sight of my assignment and focus on what I don't have and allow those negative emotions to take me off track and miss out on what God has for me. See what I'm trying to say?
God ALWAYS provides for those who trust Him and stay on course but if you lose sight and focus on the people around you and what you don't have, you'll miss out everytime. Your emotions will trick you if you leave them unchecked. This is just another note of encouragement to those of you who are still awaiting God's blessing. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!! YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE AND GOD HAS SOMEONE TAILOR-MADE JUST FOR YOU. SEEK GOD FIRST AND EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FOLLOW (Matt. 6:33) THAT IS A PROMISE. Not only just pertaining to a mate, but this applies to life in general. And no, I don't believe you have to compromise or settle. I've heard some people advise other singles to go hang out at Home Depot or places where they can find men. Literally....I'm not knocking if that's what God told you to do, but I don't believe you have to do anything but be yourself and be on the path God put you on and trust me in God's timing, Boaz will notice you. You won't have to make up a formula or be all up in anyone's face.
When you are seeking to please the Father, you will glow and sparkle just as God makes you and Boaz will definitely take note. When it's the right one, it's your relationship with God that makes you so attractive. That's what makes you stand out. Same thing for the men. I know at least for me, that's what makes a guy stand out. If I know he has a relationship with God, then I can trust him to be the head of the relationship because he has a direct connection with my Father. Ladies, please don't take it upon yourself to pursue the man, because that is not your role. LET GOD DO IT! When God does it, His stamp of approval is already on it and it will be well worth the wait! Watch and see! I am not just telling you this, but I'm putting it to practice and I promise you God's way is always better than any man-made formula. I pray that this ministers to you and that you really focus on fullfilling the purpose God created you for. Know that when you make God's desires a priority, He makes your desires a priority!
God Bless!
-Queen
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