It's Complicated...

I'm starting to notice a trend on facebook that a lot of people may not pay attention to, but God brought it to my attention to prove a point. In the past couple of weeks, I've noticed that several of my female facebook friends listed their relationship status as "It's complicated". In a matter of weeks or days even, I've noticed that their relationship statuses have now changed to "Single" and their profile status is something like, "I don't need you!", "I can do bad all by myself!", "I'm a keeper and y ou missed out!" or something very man-hating, strong-black womanish or something to that affect.

I think the reason it concerns me is because, I was in those same shoes like a month ago. I walked away from a relationship feeling confused, hurt, emotionally weighed down, and just not really understanding what went wrong. I kept trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and I kept blaming myself. But God spoke to me and told me when it comes to matters of the heart, I shouldn't be so quick to settle. And I was like Huh? What the heck does that mean? But then He told me to compare all of my relationships to His love for me, whether it be significant other, friends, family, etc... He has already set the standard of how a relationship should be. With Him, I never feel confused or lonely. I never have to try to figure out if He really loves me. I never have to try to win His affection or attention even. He always willingly gives me all the assurance I need, all the proof I need, and His love is undeniable and sincere. I can be myself with Him and He never throws me away or makes me feel like He doesn't love me anymore. Now of course, I make mistakes, but He's so patient with me. I know for a fact that this love is everlasting.

In the other relationship, I was always wondering if the person really loved me, really even wanted to be with me, and they couldn't provide that assurance I needed. As a matter of fact, they refused to, after they had set the tone of insecurity in the relationship. My spiritual father always says that when a person loses your trust, it's their responsbility to gain it back. If they really love you, they'll do whatever it takes to make you feel secure in their love and they'll work hard to gain your trust back. So in essence, I think it boils down to...If a relationship is "Complicated", you really need to ask yourself, do you really want to be a part of it? God SHOULD be the foundation for every relationship, simply because HE IS LOVE. Now, this is what God told me...I'm not trying to force my beliefs on anyone. However, I believe this to be true and I believe this is why God told me to stop settling. Whenever you fall so madly in love with God and your main focus is to please Him, you don't even have the urgency to "settle" for someone who can't offer or provide you with the same type of love He gives...

And what is so amazing, I believe, is when you find two people who are so lost in God and so focused on cultivating their relationship with Him, and then they strike an interest in each other, it's really the love of God that makes them so attractive. Can you imagine what that feels like? If you found someone who possesses the same passion and love for God as you, you would literally be falling in love with the God in them. I believe that this is how God ordained relationships to be. This type of love is fruitful, everlasting, true, giving...I mean the proof is in the pudding!

So to all my sisters, who have to sit and wonder if they have the real thing...If their "complicated" relationships are worth the headaches and heartaches? Ask yourself if this person is treating you the way God treats you. Ask yourself if you really believe that God has better for you. Ask yourself if you're willing to wait on Him and trust that He knows what you like (or even better what's best for you) and when the best timing is to present it to you....Then you have to purpose to believe that the God who created you and knows everything about you is more than capable of providing you with a suitable mate who will love you the way He does. Trust that He knows "your type" (so to speak) and if you're patient and focused on Him, He will provide! Let go of all of the couterfeits and stop settling for someone who isn't capable of loving you the way the Father does. Let it go! Even if it's for a season. God may want you with this particular person, but maybe He's waiting on you to develop a closer relationship with Him or He's trying to do a work in that other person. Your main focus should be on Him, the Father.

Once you cultivate that relationship with Him, He will lead you and guide you as to what steps to take and when to move in His timing and you can trust that in His timing, the relationship will be far more fruitful than any counterfeit love that you try to force or figure out.

God Bless,

Queen